


Fading grace

by Bates



Series: Falling (into humanity) 'verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fallen Castiel, Fallen Gabriel, Gen, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:58:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3154838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bates/pseuds/Bates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel's grace is fading and it is fading fast. While Cas is getting better, it's hard on all four of them. Harder than they ever expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fading grace

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, will do so later. Sorry for any mistakes.

            

_When grief comes, they say that you start eating the parts of yourself that hurt the most._

_When you left, I started with my fingers and worked my way inwards until in gentle lights it looked like my organs were falling softly out of me_

_my mother came to see me two days after it happened but by then my fingernails were stubs and I’d begun gnawing at the corners of my lungs. She said that I looked ‘peaky’ and I laughed so hard that I coughed up the other lung._

_We spent the evening drinking wine and cleaning pieces of myself from the floor. You said I’d be sorry for the ivory carpet and you were right, heartache is the worst sort of stain._

_Nothing helps._

**When Grieve Comes - Azra.T**

 

Castiel didn't seem to get better at being a human. In fact, Dean was more than one hundred percent positive that his angel was diving head first into a depression. He was so lost as a human, so incredibly sad. Cas didn't take care of himself, not anymore. He didn't want to eat, all he wanted to do was sleep and just  _survive_ the day. The sole thought kind of broke Dean. The fall had hurt him so much more than Dean had ever thought it would.

            Cas was his angel, he had always been that, even when they thought that he was dead, even after the Leviathan. In his mind, he had always been his angel. And now? He wasn’t an angel no more.

            He couldn’t stop his brain from going protective over him. First time that he heard his angel sob, he almost broke inside. When Castiel woke up from a nightmare the first time, he almost had an heart attack just looking at him, all sweaty and breathing hard, crying in his pillow. There had been nothing that he could do but to hug him close and let him cry.

 

It was heartbreaking to see for Dean, but if anyone felt bad about it, it was Sam. He saw just how much his brother cared about him, saw how much it weighed on him. If Castiel looked like he didn’t sleep, he didn’t know how to describe what Dean was like. He was at least as bad, maybe even worse.

            But most of all, he worried and not even for his brother or his tiny family, no. Sam worried for Gabriel. _His_ angel. _His_ person that he cared about most. He couldn’t help it. Every time that he stopped by, he looked worse. One day, he arrived flying and couldn’t leave again. His grace had faded to the extent that he couldn’t fly anymore. An angel with clipped wings.

            The next time, he came by car. And it broke his heart. It broke Sam’s heart to see Gabriel step out of the car the next time he came by, a stubble on his face. He padded his pocket awkwardly, the keys probably weighing him down, feeling awkward in his jeans. Sam had made the mental note to teach Gabriel how to properly shave one day, totally up for showing his friend.

            “Hiya Sammy.” Even though he looked a little bit better than before, he still looked off, sick maybe. Sam didn’t know what was wrong with him, Gabriel being too stubborn to admit it. “How’s Cas doing?”

            “A little better,” Sam said with a slight smile, “he actually got up long enough to take a shower and get some _actual_ food. It’s progress.” Over the past few weeks, almost all that Cas had done was sleep and rest, sometimes drinking some soup. He lost a lot of weight in the past few weeks, even Dean’s clothes looked baggy on him now. They'd resorted to borrowing him some of the old clothes that were in the bunker, but they really did have to get him some other clothes. The thing was that Cas had to join them for that, which, considering his state, wasn't advisable. Cas could barely stand up for longer than an hour without feeling dizzy or fainting. Which he had shown them only a few days earlier.

            They had been outside for a little while, letting him breathe in some clean air for a change. It was supposed to help him a little and well, he had perked up when his feet touched the ground outside. If either Gabriel or Sam thought it was weird that Dean hoovered so close to Cas at all times, neither said anything about it, not even to each other, which was kind of a surprise on it's own. He had been actually laughing around the pain that they all knew he was in daily, when he suddenly blacked out.

            Dean had been like a worried mother hen, keeping him close until Cas eventually snapped at him and told him to get lost. Dean took the hint and left him alone for a little while, but it was more than clear that he wasn't happy about it, at all.

 

Sam knew what Dean's paranoia was about, but he never said anything about it. He knew that what he had seen when Zachariah zapped him to the future, he knew that Cas had been addicted to drugs and smoked, that he didn't care about a single thing any more. Sam knew that his brother was worried about that happening now.

            But he didn't have anything to fear. At least not if Sam could believe Gabriel. Gabriel reassured him over and over again, made sure that Sam knew that it wouldn't happen. Castiel wouldn't derail. Gabriel would be there to watch him. While it did make him feel better, it made him worry too. Gabriel's grace was draining too quickly, he was becoming more human each and every day.

            He would never remember the day that Gabe knocked on his bedroom door with sadness and pain in his eyes. He couldn't forget those words. 'I can't feel my wings anymore.' That one mighty angel that once had three pairs of wings, now had none. Soon enough, the rest would follow and he'd be human too. Completely human, with bumps and bruises and cuts. Had they even had shots? Could he get sick from diseases like children and babies did?

 

Two weeks after the wing thing, a new thing happened. They were watching television, Castiel tucked under Dean's arm. Dean pulled up the shitty excuse of Castiel only sleeping when he heard his heartbeat and well, if it made him feel any better about the situation, why not? Sam knew that if they weren't already dating, they would be soon enough, that his brother was in love with the former angel. Dean would never take advantage of Cas in a situation like this and he'd never say it, but it was clear that he did. From what he knew of Cas, it might even be that he was in love with Dean too. God knew how long they'd been pinning after each other, the sex eyes and the stares and the personal space issues, it had all been very clear indicators.

            However, when Gabriel stumbled through the doors of the room, half falling over his own feet and slumped against the floor, Sam was more than surprised. He was by the angel’s side within seconds, ignoring the looks that his brother threw him. If Dean could be worried about his angel, Sam could be about his. He had never seen Gabriel like this, all vulnerable.

            After checking for injuries however, it appeared that the angel was just, _sleeping_. It was so alien to him that he actually had to pinch himself to believe it was real. However, getting an angel in bed after passing out was easier said than done. The man wasn't heavy but not exactly light either, especially when he wasn't co-operating.

            “I’m going to put this one to bed,” Sam sighed as he shifted Gabriel in his arms. He was clinging to him, hands caught in the fabric of his sweatshirt, head tucked against his collarbone. As weird as it was, he didn’t mind. The angel needed somebody there and if he was the one he chose as a pillow, that as okay.

            Dean dared to laugh as Sam took the angel in his arms and left the room. He had to mind his own business and well, it wasn’t like he could say anything about it either. He was the same way with Castiel.

 

Gabriel didn’t want to wake up enough to let Sam go. His eyes only fluttered open when Sam tried laying him down in his bed, but he wouldn’t move his fingers even an inch.

            “Don’t go,” he muttered, clinging to him even tighter. “Please.”

            “You want me to stay?” Sam couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice. Gabriel actually wanted him to stay, actually wanted him to be there. He nodded in reply, snuggling closer. “Okay, you ugh, gotta let me go for a second, we shouldn’t be sleeping in jeans.”

            “Yeah, sure.”

            Sam ended up leaning a pair of sweatpants in which he drowned, but that were more comfortable than his pants. It send a warm shiver of _something_ down his spine, something he didn’t want to think about.

            “Thank you for staying,” Gabe whispered against his collarbone as he curled up against Sam before falling asleep and well, in the few minutes it took Sam to fall asleep, he was floating, mind going ver the words again and again.

            He could certainly get used to this.


End file.
